Sadly, but true, this pacifist is conducting my own private war on terrorists – the furry variety…the squirrels out back!
Several years ago they made their way into the eaves of our home and built a nest in the rafters. During the day, we could hear them scamper in the bathroom wall and their sound, not to mention the possibility of their causing structural damage, was extremely irritating. A broken piece of soffit allowed their entry, but as soon as the opening was repaired and the nesters were trapped and removed (humanely, of course), the problem disappeared.
Like most terrorists though, the squirrels have begun probing the spouting for an entry point again. I’ve responded with preemptive action – a massive ‘shock and awe’ relocation program that entails capture and relocation to a distant forest habitat.
In this war on terror, there are no 24-hour interrogation sessions, no blindfolding of prisoners, no use of ‘waterboarding’ to simulate drowning, no sexual humiliation of the entrapped and no use of equipment to inflict physical pain. There’s no ‘extraordinary rendition’ for torture either, just one last opportunity for the furry rodent to finish eating the trap’s food before being released back into the wild.
My friends point out that with each departing rodent, another may take his or her place and that may be true, but my vigilance – not any overreaction to the problem – will provide the best chance to insure the continued safety of my home. It’s a war I can wage without violating my conscience.
